


You Said You Would Treat Me Right but This Was Just a Waste of Time

by orphan_account



Series: The World Was Okay Again [6]
Category: The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Universe, M/M, Sadness, Suicidal Thoughts, The Death Cure, canon story, tdc spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-05
Updated: 2015-08-05
Packaged: 2018-04-13 03:52:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4506657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt saw him coming from a long ways off. His foggy brain seemed to clear at the sight of Thomas in that car, driving away from the Crank invested city. He could also see that Thomas recognized him, even with how horrible Newt knew he must look now.<br/>OR<br/>Newt's POV for Page 250 (and surrounding pages)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Said You Would Treat Me Right but This Was Just a Waste of Time

**Author's Note:**

> I managed to turn a JoJo song about cheating into a song about shooting your boyfriend in the head? Aha. Also, you'll find actually book dialogue in here, which obviously belongs to James Dashner.  
> ALSO I WROTE THIS USING MY HEADCANON THAT THE "FLARE" WAS ACTUALLY NEWT'S THIRD TRIAL AND HE WAS ACTUALLY IMMUNE LOL BYE.

**I've been waiting all day here for you, babe**

Newt saw him coming from a long ways off. His foggy brain seemed to clear at the sight of Thomas in that car, driving away from the Crank invested city. He could also see that Thomas recognized him, even with how horrible Newt knew he must look now.

It seemed slightly odd that Newt could tell all these things, he knew that he shouldn't be able to hold onto the feelings he'd had for Thomas with how past Gone he was. Maybe the deepest of emotion he felt for the boy could make its way through even the darkest lack of humanity. Either way, Newt decided not to dwell on anything. He didn't think his brain would be able to handle it. So he continued on with what he was doing and hoped Thomas would be smart enough to stay in the car and not come to him.

Of course, Newt should know better than to count on Thomas being smart.

**So come sit and talk to me. Tell how we're going be together, always.**

Newt could almost feel him approaching at a fast pace and could definitely hear the driver of the car yelling at him to come back. Which he should, he really should because Thomas was the last person in the world Newt wanted to see ever again.

Newt had trusted Thomas- truly trusted him more than anybody else- and he completely ignored Newt's only request. The only thing Newt had ever asked of Thomas, and he hadn't even tried to do it. Newt had always suspected that Thomas was selfish but this whole event had opened his eyes wide to just who Thomas really was.

"Hey. Newt. It's me. You still remember me, right?"

Newt felt something inside him snap when he though there was nothing left to snap. How dare Thomas suggest that Newt wouldn't remember somebody who nearly singlehandedly put him in this position?

"I bloody remember you, Tommy. You just came to see me at the Palace, rubbed it in my face that you ignored my note. I can't go completely crazy in a few days." _It feels almost like a lie._

**Hope you know when it's late at night, I hold onto my pillow tight. And think of how you promised me forever.**

The hurt look on Thomas' face almost made Newt want to apologize, but Newt knew he didn't have to. Cranks didn't have to apologize for their actions, the virus eating apart their brains were an explanation enough. Besides, Thomas deserved to hear these words. He needed to know that his actions had repercussions and this was one of them.

"Then why are you here? Why are you with… them?" Thomas shuffled his feet slightly, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to go in for a hug or run in the other direction. Newt understood because he was feeling the same way.

Newt glanced over his shoulder at the Cranks which had taken him in and shrugged before looking back to face Thomas. "It comes and goes, man. I can't explain it. Sometimes I can't control myself, barely know what I'm doing. But usually it's just like an itch in my brain, throwing everything off-kilter just enough to bother me."

"You seem fine right now."

**I never thought that anyone could make me feel this way. Now that you're here boy all I want is just the chance to say**

Newt blinked, realizing that Thomas' words were slightly true. He was relatively fine right now. Yes, he felt angry but he could control this anger. He knew where it was directed and why. If he really wanted to stop and think about it, something about this whole Flare business had seemed off for a while now- maybe since the beginning.

But Newt didn't want to stop and think about it. He didn't want to think about anything anymore.

"Yeah, well." Newt shrugged again. "The only reason I'm with these wackers from the Palace is because I don't know what else to do. They're fighting but they're also a group. You find yourself alone, you don't have a bloody chance."

"Newt, come with me this time, right now. We can take you somewhere safer, somewhere better to.."

Better to die? Newt burst out laughing, not even really sure where the laugh was coming from. He just knew it almost felt good to laugh, like a little bit of who he was in the Glade was still inside him somewhere and is still entertained by Thomas' naïve nature. "Get out of here, Tommy. Get away."

"Just come with me," Thomas begged, Newt able to see the panic and desperation in his eyes. "I'll tie you up if it'll make you feel better."

Then Newt started to really get angry.

**Get out, right now. It's the end of you and me.**

"Just shut the fuck up, you shuck traitor!" Newt yelled, and the yelling felt good. It was like releasing a little piece of him that had always resented Thomas a little piece. Resented him as much as he loved him. He just wanted Thomas to see how he felt, and Newt didn't stop to wonder how he could still rationalize his behaviour or why he was doing it now. "Didn't you read my note!?! You can't do one last, lousy thing for me? Gotta be the hero, like always? I hate you! I've always hated you!"

And most of Newt thought those words were true, the rest of him didn't care whether they were or not. All he cared about was how Thomas stepped back, how the hurt expression crossed his face, how he stared at Newt as though he'd slapped him.

Newt also knew that Thomas was trying to rationalize Newt's words inside his head. Telling himself that Newt was only saying those things because of the Flare. But the longer Newt thought about the Flare, the more wrong it seemed. Something wasn't right there but he'd long since stopped caring. This wasn't about having the Flare or not having it anymore. This was about living in this shucked up world or dying with dignity.

"Newt…"

**It's too late and I can't wait for you to be gone.**

"It was all your fault!" Newt continued to spew his angry words in Thomas' direction, taking every inch of anger he held for WICKED out on the boy. Logically he knew this wasn't entirely fair but he didn't want to think logically anymore. He didn't have to. "You could've stopped them when the first Creators died." _Wrong._ "You could have figured out a way!" _Wrong._ "But no! You had to keep it going, try to save the world, be the hero!" _No._ "And you came into the Maze and never stopped." _Not true._ "All you care about is yourself! Admit it! Gotta be the one people remember, the one people worship! We should've thrown you down the Box Hole!"

Tears had filled Thomas' eyes now and his gaze didn't waver from Newt's reddening face. Newt balled his hands into fists and took a step towards Thomas, truly pissed that the boy could dare try to be so calm in this moment. He really didn't care about anybody else. Newt had never believed anything more wholeheartedly.

"I'm gonna blast him! Get out of the way!" The man from the car yelled, and Newt found that he didn't care in the slightest if he did.

**And I wonder how I bought all the lies?**

Thomas whipped around to look at the man. "Don't! It's just me and him! Don't do anything!" When the boy turned back to face Newt, he saw true emotion for the first time. There was fear in his eyes, fear that the man driving the car would still shoot, that he would kill Newt.

Newt stalled for a second, which gave Thomas just enough time to start bloody talking again. "Newt, stop. Just listen to me. I know you're okay in there. Enough to hear me out."

And Thomas was right, so right that he had no idea just how right he was. Newt was starting to feel as though he was fine, he was very much in control of himself. But this wasn't about being in control or not, this was about living or dying. And Newt didn't want to be living anymore.

"After all I did for you, after all the freaking klunk I went through in the bloody Maze, you can't do the one and only thing I've ever asked you to do! I can't even look at your ugly shuck face!"

Maybe if Newt got Thomas angry enough, he'd just do it out of rage.

**And now that it's all said and done, maybe I'm the one to blame**

Thomas took two steps back, shaking his head the whole way. The tears in his eyes seemed about ready to fall but Newt pushed the concern away. He couldn't love Thomas anymore. He wouldn't let himself.

"Newt, you need to stop. They're going to shoot you." _I don't care._ "Just stop and listen to me! Get in the van, let me tie you up. Give me a chance!" _I gave you a chance, Tommy. It got us here._

Newt screamed, the irritation of still breathing being too much for him to handle. He launched himself forward to tackle Thomas to the ground, barely even noticing the Launcher lightening going right over his head. Newt climbed on top of Thomas and pinned him to ground, staring down at his face, thinking of all the times he'd imagined himself on top of Thomas in very different situations than this.

"I should rip your eyes out. Teach you a lesson in stupidity."

**I wanted you right here with me but I've got no choice; you've got to leave**

"Why'd you come over here? You expected a bloody hug?"

The hurt look was still settled on Thomas' face, and it made Newt's stomach stomach jump into his throat. Part of him wondered if Thomas really had been expecting a hug, the stupid bugger. It would be just like him to fall in love at the exact wrong moment.

He noticed Thomas slowly reaching down for his gun, and Newt chose not to react just yet. He knew if he made a move too quickly, Thomas would back out. He knew he needed to stall and it only took him a few seconds to figure out exactly how to do it.

"You wanna know why I have this limp, Tommy? Did I ever tell you? No, I don't think I did."

**Because my heart is breaking with every word I'm saying**

Thomas blinked for a second, confusion settled over the hurt for a moment.

"What happened?" He asked, and Newt knew he was stalling for time, too. He didn't want to kill Newt almost as much as Newt wanted- no, _needed-_ Thomas to kill him.

"I tried to kill myself in the Maze." Newt told him, the feelings he'd had coming right back to him now. He could remember exactly how he'd- very similar to how he felt right now. He remembered everything. "I climbed halfway up one of those bloody walls and jumped right off." He hadn't felt anything when he'd hit the ground, not a thing. No emotions, no pain. It had been the first time in his life that Newt had felt as though things were going to get better.

The second time that had happened was when he'd found Thomas and Minho after they'd spent the night in the Maze, but that was something Newt never wanted to think about again… because if he could trace back his problems then that morning- the morning he realized the way he felt about Thomas was different than the way he'd ever felt about anybody before- was the true start of them.

"I hated the place, Tommy. I hated every second of every day. And it was all…your…fault!"

Newt grabbed hold of Thomas' gun and yanked up towards himself, pressing it against his forehead.

**I gave up everything I had on something that just wouldn't last but I refuse to cry**

"Now make amends for what you've done! Kill me before I become one of those cannibal monsters." _Lie._ "Kill me! I trusted you with the note! No one else! Now do it!"

"I can't!" Thomas cried out, his voice breaking off in the sob that shook Newt to his core. If Newt had had any doubt that Thomas loved him back before, he didn't anymore. But that didn't really matter now, it was too late to love. "I can't, Newt, I can't."

"Make amends! Repent for what you did!" The words tore out of him, his whole body trembling. Why didn't Thomas just bloody do it already? Probably because of his constant disregard of anything he was ever told to do. That didn't matter to Newt, though. He wasn't letting Thomas get away from here with both of them alive. So he dropped his voice in an urgent whisper, "Kill me, you shuck coward. Prove you can do that right thing. Put me out of my misery." _Finally, a truth._

_  
_

Thomas struggled to get out from under Newt, struggled to pull the gun away. "Newt, maybe we can-"

NO

"Shut up! Just shut up! I trusted you! Now do it!"

"I can’t."

"Do it."

"I CAN'T!"

**Get out. Right Now. It's the end of you and me. It's too late and I can't wait for you to be gone.**

"Kill me or I'll kill you." _Another lie, he could never._ "Kill me! Do it!"

"Newt…" Thomas' voice was broken, pleading for something to make sense. Newt wanted to wrap his arms about the boy, explain everything, make things better but he couldn't show any weakness.

He couldn't show any sanity. "Do it before I become one of them!" _Except I won't and I know it damn well._

"I…" Thomas trailed off and Newt knew he had him now. Thomas' finger twitched on the trigger and there was no going back now.

"Please, Tommy. Please."

With a quick flash of light, everything ended with Thomas' face etched and echoed into his brain.

_Because I love you_

**You said that you would treat me right but this was just a waste of time.**


End file.
